Have you ever had an interaction so profound that it was forever etched in your mind? Like that one sole experience changed you to the core? Such was the case for me on a normal Saturday in a local pizza parlor. I left Z-Place Pizza and was never the same. Since that day I have been kinder, more tolerant, and guarded my words and reactions much more carefully. And doesn’t this divisive world of politics and Covid division need more kindness?
My husband and I were enjoying a meal with our worship pastor and sound board technician. The four of us were in a booth discussing ministry, the Sunday morning experience, and the vision for our church. In the booth behind us sat our son, Isaiah, a sixth grader; Pastor Dan’s daughter, Jubilee, an incoming first grader; and Kinley (sound tech’s daughter), who was also a first grader.
Orders were taken and an order number was gently placed on the kids’ booth. Conversation ensued at the adult table, and children chatted peacefully, until suddenly a loud argument broke out in the kids’ booth. It was time to parent. Isaiah angrily placed the order number on our booth, and exclaimed, “Mom! Tell Jubilee this says 39, not 63! She keeps saying it says 63. She’s wrong!” I shrunk with embarrassment at the stupidity of this disagreement. Seriously kid, you’re arguing over this?
Grabbing Isaiah’s arm, I pulled him close and whispered, “This argument does not matter at all. Be respectful. She’s not been to school yet and may not know her numbers well. You’re in 6th grade and can’t expect a younger person to have the same knowledge as you. Got it?”
“Okaaay. But it’s just that I want her to know I’m right!” (I’m thinking to myself, “Don’t we all kid?”)
“It doesn’t matter, Isaiah; stop arguing over meaningless things. Who cares if you’re right.”
Begrudgingly he scuffled back to his booth with table top number in tow, and that is when it struck me like lightning. They’re BOTH right! “Isaiah, come here please, and bring me the number.” Frustrated face, eye roll, he reluctantly hands me the number, which I promptly place upside down. “What do you see?”
He cocks head to side, even squints a little, but a smile slowly spreads on his face. Humbled, he replies, “I see 63.”
“Isaiah, Jubilee had a different perspective than you. She was looking at the issue from the other side of the table. How would this have played out differently if you would have joined her side of the table to see her perspective, instead of barking at her, demanding your own “rightness”?”
Oh, what a lesson there is for all of us! What if the red voters and the blue voters went to the other side of the table and took time to see other perspectives? What if the maskers and anti-maskers, the pro-vaxxers and anti-vaxxers, and all divisive groups simply took a moment to see the issue at hand from another lens?
All of us could learn so much just from observing children for an hour. They don’t let skin color, preferences, gender, and petty differences keep them from friendship. We must stop arguing and bickering over issues that don’t matter in light of eternity and join our friends at the table, seeing things through their eyes.
Especially if you’re a believer, it might be good to remember that this world and its governments and systems are all temporary anyway. Our forever home is elsewhere.
How tragic would it be to sacrifice a friendship over 39 or 63? But, isn’t that happening all over the world right now?
I choose to see both numbers, and I hope you do too.
I have always said perception should be respected from all people. I will never sacrifice peace with another person to prove my perception. Perception is created in the moment that we are in based on many variables. It’s causes a barrier in communication. God’s word at a very young age taught me to be patient respectful understanding caring in all situations.
What a blessing to be raised and root in God’s word! Thanks for reading the blog.